Food Guilt and Being Fat

Experiencing Food Guilt

Feelings of guilt around food, eating habits, and body size are very common. Many of my patients experience this guilt. I hear my patients tell me that they were bad and ate something, or that they need to have more self control. Society promotes guilt around eating. Even healthcare providers mistakenly encourage this guilt. Promoting guilt around eating is especially the case when the person in question happens to be fat. There is less guilt promoted to thin people who may eat the same foods.

I think that it is important to separate someone's non-preferred food choices from actual bad behavior. There is nothing immoral about eating an extra piece of bread. There is nothing ethically problematic about having desert. We can save our guilt for moral failings like stealing, insulting people, and injuring people.

Making Decisions About Food and Guilt

The "decision" to eat something has more physiological processes and less cognitive processes involved than we realize. For many of my patients with obesity, the brain thinks more thoughts about food than someone with a lower body weight. When some people walk into a party and see a plate of donuts, their brain does not stop thinking about the donuts. Their brain continuously sends thoughts of the donut into their mind to the extent that it can even be distracting from what they are trying to do. Another person may notice the plate of donuts and not think much about those donuts after that. But if your brain bombards you with thoughts of a donut, you will eat the donut.

Sometimes it is easier to understand this when we talk about other physiological drives. Imagine that it is a very hot day, and we have been walking outside for an hour. You reach into your backpack to take out a water bottle. Imagine that I tell you to have more self control and do not drink. I think that very quickly you can tell me that the drive to drink is not about self control. Yes, you can delay drinking somewhat, even when you are thirsty. But eventually you will drink. That is because your body is sending you a strong physiological message to drink.

With eating decisions, the choices tend to lie ahead of time in preparation behaviors. These include choices about grocery shopping, planning meals, preparing meals, going to places where food is served, and packing food for when you are out. Once you are past that and in a situation where you are very hungry, there is much less choice remaining.

What to do About Food Guilt

If you experience guilt around eating and food, you may benefit from working with a dietitian or therapist who can help you learn new perspectives about eating. Reach out and your eating emotions can improve.