While hanging out with your bestie on a girls' night out, your friend told you she just found out she has prediabetes, and she wants to go on a diet. As a good friend, you want to be supportive of her efforts. What is the best way you can support your friend on her diet?
Your Own Feelings
The first thing to do is some introspection on your own thoughts and feelings. When a friend goes on a diet, it can bring up a lot of strong feelings. You might feel guilty that you are not also going on a diet. You might feel jealous at their seeming immense self control to stay on their diet. You might have feelings of anger at diet culture. Recognizing your feelings about your friend's diet is important if you want to make sure you don't become an unintended diet saboteur.
Remember that everyone is living their own life. Your own decision to make nutrition changes should be independent of whatever your friend does. Starting changes out of guilt or jealousy is not a recipe for success. And discouraging your friend due to your own disappointment with diets is not helpful either. Your friend's readiness to change does not indicate your own readiness. If it's a motivating factor for you, that's great. If not, remember, you don't need to also change.
There is a lot of mental work--both conscious and unconscious--that leads someone to decide to make a diet change. For some people, they need the idea of diet change to sit in their mind for weeks or months before it becomes a reality for them. For others, the seriousness of a new diagnosis takes them all the way to the level of motivation needed for change.
Practical Ways to Support Your Friend on a Diet
Do This:
Give non-food gifts. For birthdays, celebrations, and holidays, think of other gifts your friend will prefer. Maybe a membership to their favorite attraction, a gift certificate for a massage, or a new gadget they want.
Plan activities that don't involve eating. Is it girls' night out again? Look into activities other than eating out. Maybe watch a show, go to a museum, or have a game night.
Go with to the gym. Being there with your friend at an exercise class or at the gym can be a great way to boost and support your friend.
Find active recreational activities to do together. Hiking, kayaking, biking, dancing, or a simple walk can be enjoyable to do together.
Verbalize your support. Let your friend know that you want to be there for them. Send a random text to encourage them or get on the phone to cheer them on.
Ask what you can do. Ask your friend what would be helpful for them. Support can be in all sorts of ways.
Don't do This:
Purchase food for your friend that she is trying to avoid. Has she stopped eating candy because she is working to improve her blood sugar? Don't buy her candy to eat together.
Serve your friend dessert without being asked. Your friend might feel she has to eat it or be considered rude. Always ask before serving your friend food.
Tease your friend about the foods she chooses. Peer pressure is a strong force. Your friend may feel pressured to eat something they prefer not to eat.
Encourage your friend to stay home rather than go to the gym. The power of persuasion is strong. If your friend was planning to go to the gym, don't convince her not to.
Predict her failure. If you think she won't be successful, keep it to yourself. No need to tell your friend that her efforts won't last long.
Be a Supportive of Your Friend on a Diet
When your friend tells you they want to change their diet, you will know how to be supportive. First check your own feelings, and then look into what you can do practically for your friend. Encouragement and support can make your friend feel cared for.
Comments